Excruciatingly painful!!!
June 10, 2008 by archangela-meandmythoughts
Badan gue sakit2an mulu.. dan setelah sekian pemeriksaan dokter dan perbincangan singkat dengan ’si Bapak’, akhirnya gue menyadari sesuatu:
it’s not just my body, IT IS ME who’s hurting inside out!
It’s me that make me sick.
Dan please… jangan tanya kenapa karena gue juga ga tau. Periode depresi dan gundah yang tak berujung ini entah kapan mencapai titik terang. Entah kapan juga gue akan bisa masuk ke periode manic karena nampaknya saat ini gue sangat butuh untuk menjadi manic! Paling ga saat gue manic, mood-nya akan cukup mengangkat semangat gue lagi untuk ngerjain laporan yang menumpuk, yang selama ini terus gue hindari dengan melakukan serangkaian defense mechanism. huhuu…
Capek booo… capek… huhuhuhu…
I need to get out of this life I’m working on now…
I need to be honest with myself…
I need to figure myself out, coz’ it’s seems that I’m losing myself…
Really need to get back to be the "bitch" I’m used to be.. an extra independent woman, strong, healthy, confidence, and optimistic!!! (by the way,if any of you have the opportunity, ladies please read: WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES. It’s SO GOOD!!)
I need to get back to be the kind of woman who CAN survive being left alone..
who CAN be happy & satisfied with herself…
who CAN take no for an answers without feeling that I’ve been being utterly misbehaved and rejected…
But now, I’m trapped.. in my own game of life and I don’t know how to get out without hurting myself even more…
God, HELP!
aduh kenapa bu?….kan udah ada si bapak tuh yang jadi shoulder to cry on….hehehehehehehe gw lagi ngebayangin nih elo ama “bapak” kayaknye romantis getuh
Sayaaang….
Life’s been tough recently?
Ayoo…tetep semangat, dear!! A tough girl like you will go through the hardest time in life, I AM SURE YOU WILL!! =)
Supaya agak semangat…mungkin bisa pake mantra manjur bunda nih..
I always say it to myself when I wake up in the morning:
“there’s nothing in the world today that me and God cannot do”
Semangat yaa!! After every storm, a rainbow appears… =)
Give me a shout if u need me, dear.. take care!!